Your First Counselling Session
What happens in the first session of counselling?
Many people I’ve worked with describe feeling unsure about what to expect from our first session together.
Firstly, this feeling is normal, expected, common, whatever you want to call it, we humans generally don’t love change and we especially don’t love change when we don’t know what it might involve.
In our first session, I’ll meet you in the waiting room, (Click here for how to find the waiting room) and welcome you into the therapy room.
My room, whether in person or online is described by my clients with some of the following words; warm, welcoming, like a cosy living room, not like a doctor’s office, and comfortable.
When in the therapy room, you can get comfortable while I make you something to drink (if you choose), then we can start talking about what we are there for. Or get yourself settled into our online room; maybe you’d like to bring something comforting to sit with or nice to drink during our session.
In our consultation we will have discuss what brings you to sessions briefly, but in our first session, we will get a little more detail. You never have to talk about anything you’re not ready to discuss, and when you are, we can move at your pace.
We’ll start with checking in with how you are feeling coming into the room, and then we can move on to go over our contract together. I find this allows space for any questions you may have and for us to consider any adaptations we may need/ want to make.
What is the first step in a counselling session?
The great thing is, that by the time you are in your first counselling session, you have already taken the first step, and quite a few after that as well. The first thing we do in the counselling session is get comfortable in the therapy room. You are welcome to bring something to drink, or I can make you something while you settle. Then, we will work together to figure out what step we want to take next in your counselling journey.
What should I say in my first counselling session?
Not knowing what to say or feeling overwhelmed because you feel you have a lot to say is also common when we first start sessions.
You might like to write down a few things you would like to talk over, and we can create a list of priorities. Or you might want to just go with what comes to you at the time.
Sometimes, clients say they don’t know what direction to go in, and this is where we can work together to figure out what might feel important to you. It’s important to me that this feels like a collaborative journey. I’m not going to tell you what to do or say per se, but I am happy to offer gentle direction or open questions to give us somewhere to start.
Overall, we work together to walk towards your goal. There isn’t a right or wrong way to do this.
Is the first therapy session the hardest?
That is for you to decide. Often, like a lot of things, our brain wants to get us to think of the worst possible outcome, to allow us to prepare for it and protect ourselves from it if it happens. I’m not sure yet what your worse outcome would be (and I’d welcome the conversation on it if that felt important to you), but lots of people say it wasn’t nearly as difficult as they thought it would be.
Building a therapeutic relationship between counsellor and client is what I describe as being like all of the relationships in your life and none at all at the same time. It’s a very unique place to be; we don’t often get space in life to talk about just us. I hope to offer this rare space to my clients in a gentle, compassionate and honest way to allow them to take this way with them and offer this to themselves.
If you have any other questions you’d like to ask me before or about a first counselling session, I’d love to hear from you. You can CLICK HERE to get in touch.
-Kelly @turningpagetherapy
